Mamas, Stop Feeling GUILTY!

What is mom guilt? According to ActiveKids.com, “Mom Guilt is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness or uncertainty experienced by mothers when they worry they're failing or falling short of expectations in some way. For many moms–particularly new, working or single moms–the variables that contribute to this phenomenon are numerous and intense.”

“Omg, you’re going back to work so soon. How can you leave your newborn?”

“Oh, I see you out and about but where is your child?”

“Don’t you miss your son/daughter?”

“WHAT? You didn’t breastfeed?”

Societies pressures of what or who a mom should be is what causes mom guilt. People don’t realise how insensitive they are when questioning a mother’s choices. Placing guilt/shame on mothers can do a lot of harm; more than you know.

I remember throughout my pregnancy, the plan was to exclusively breastfeed for one-year. Guess what? It never happened. Due to lactation insufficiency, after two weeks, I had to start Aaron on formula. Did I think I was a bad mom? Did I think I had already failed as a mom? HELL NO! I had to do what was best at the time for my son and that was to find the best formula to put him on because he has to be fed. Of course, my mom kept pushing me to try so I found my own solution…I would give my son formula and do a top up of whatever breast milk I pumped. My girlfriends reassured me that it’s okay. I’m not the first and not the last mom who won’t exclusively breastfeed.

This was just one example. Trust, I have many.

You know when you’re having a girls night out and everyone who spots you goes, “Eiiiii, so where is your child?” and you’re thinking, ‘Well, it’s 10pm, where should he/she be?’ LOL!

Don’t ever feel guilty for making sure you are HAPPY. A happy mommy equals a happy baby equals a happy home.

Don’t feel guilty for heading back to work. In order to give your child the lifestyle you want, you have to work right?

Don’t feel guilty for saying, “I need a break…”

Stop trying to prove to the world that you’re a perfect mom. There is no such thing as a perfect mom.

Don’t allow guilt or shame to control your life, your journey of motherhood. You will one day look back and think, ‘WHY did I allow this to take control of me….I’ve raised an amazing child/children…”

And guess what? You did it YOUR WAY.